Pagan News and Views Since 1998
I am proud to say that I completed my CWC101 class (Correllian Wicca First Degree 101 Class) and passed it yesterday! I am so proud of myself! I loved the lessons SO MUCH and I am so grateful to have gotten so far in my studies! While I am a LITTLE closer to achieving "Clergy Status" I am not yet done by ANY means, this is only the beginning! Still, I am proud of myself!
There are other things I must do before I complete the requirements to be a First Degree Clergy-member in the Correllian Nativist Wicca Tradition. I have two other classes (These appear shorter than the prior one and must be taken in secession rather than at the same time), two essays between 5 and 7 pages long to do on a topic to do with Wicca done according to the format they specify (my mentor must approve the subject matter first, however, I have not decided what I want to write about yet, I am waiting to finish the other two classes first), a final WRITTEN test (Which I will take after the Essays are done) as well will need to be done and then I will, in addition to this if everything is approved of and I have passed everything, I will THEN need to pay my joining fee as well as a background check fee and after that is done, I will have achieved my GOAL! I know it will be worth it! It may seem like a lot left to do but I know that I WILL enjoy the process! :D
Years ago, I discovered Witchschool and began this process and stopped, then returned and stopped again (I am not sure how many times). The thing is that this time I continued my lessons and stuck to it with determination and worked hard towards my goal. Any form of education (especially self-directed education without being inside a classroom) requires commitment. To me, to study my classes was a commitment to MYSELF and towards furthering my true desires for who I want to be and what I want to make of myself and to work toward becoming in the future. I realized my issues with my upbringing and family did not control me anymore because I have a choice, I CONTROL ME, they truly can't. No person but myself is in control of my life. I can choose for me what I do and where I go and how I act. If I chose FEAR, I am choosing to ignore the LOVE the universe is pouring forth visibly everywhere as exhibited by the seasons and cycles of all of nature! Being afraid is okay, it is healthy to fear some things and to avoid some situations under certain circumstances, letting fear rule you is not okay... To face one's fears and evaluate them is a very good idea because then you can see if the fear is just the "Boogeyman" or if there is REAL danger there.
Often time the fear of something is so much worse than the EXPERIENCE of what a person is afraid of... I am not ready to tell my Father that I am a Pagan, though I know he cannot actually "Do" anything to me anymore. My MOM knows what I am doing and thinks it is just fine and if I had to choose between my family members I would ALWAYS choose my MOM if I had to choose between them. "IF" Dad decided to disown me, Mom would not agree to pretend I don't exist and would likely talk him out of THAT. Even if I never did get to see my Father again, I would miss him but the truth is I would just accept that as how things turned out and figure out how to move on after that point. I am not ready to test this out quite yet but the truth is this: I am not without my Mother's love and help. When I am ready, I will tell Dad. Preferably sometime AFTER I have achieved the 1st Degree. Until that day when I decide to tell Dad, I can worry about other things that are more worth worrying about (like worrying about passing the next class I need to take and so forth).
After I have been accepted as a member of the Clergy I can then figure out what I want to do next. For now, I am happy with the achievements I have done so far and can focus on the next steps to take without figuring out what, ultimately, I want to do after that point. To eat an Elephant a person can only chew one bite at a time and there is still plenty of Elephant left for me to munch on as things stand! I will focus on what I am able to do for the present and let the future take care of its self. The Goddess and God will never abandon me even if my Father does and the Goddess and the God are more important in the "Grand Scheme" of things!