Pagan News and Views Since 1998

I have been recovering from surgery- I had a brain tumor removed 11 weeks ago. I am starting to feel a bit more like my old self- minus the raging headaches, LOL! Most of the incision is healed, except a tiny hole at the bottom, which STILL leaks.I am still on heavy antibiotics from the secondary infection I got- plain old staph thank goodness- and NOT MRSA! I am unable to return to work and will lose my job in 6 days because of it. (I am a Labor and delivery nurse by trade, and I know better than to walk into any hospital with an open wound, especially one that is a direct path to my brain. Not only could it make someone sick if even a trace of infection is left, I could pick up some very nasty germs myself. Had enough of being in hospitals thanks!) Even though this will cause my wife and I great difficulty- wondering how the bills will be payed, etc, I believe this is the Goddess' way of saying it is time to start a new page in the book of shadows of my life. I am still a bit down in the dumps though. I worked very hard a a single mother of three to get through nursing school by myself, and now this- coupled with a work sustained back injury, ( I had a laboring mom kick me across the room,) may mean I have to train for some sort of new job. 4 years of college down the drain it seems. I hope there is something new and exciting out there for me to do. I have been a Nurse for nine years and it has been my life- helping to heal, holding someone's hand as they pass into the Summerland, and bringng new lives into the world- sometimes literally if the doc doesn't get there in time! I am at a loss as to what to do next. Of course until I heal up all the way I am at a standstill- and that is not my style.That probably bothers me most, not being up to full steam. Anyone else out there had something similar?

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Comment by Talen on July 26, 2009 at 7:17pm
I have had a very similar experience, though far different circumstances. I was a soldier for twelve years. After my second combat tour, my right knee started showing signs of wear and tear, my concentration was gone, and my anger was impossible to avoid. When I was getting into fights with my seniors, and actually blacked out and attacked my roommate (one who saved my life in the desert) I knew something was terribly wrong. I sought counseling, they put me on medication, I developed a severe tremor in my right arm, and I lost myself in depression. My new orders to Heidelburg, Germany were cancelled and I found out I was being medically boarded. The result was medical retirement. Since, the VA has picked up with 100% disability, so the financial worry isn't strong, but I still get no help as far as treatment. Where I was a leader, training soldiers and keeping equipment running, I am now a stay at home dad unable to actually get a regular job. I DJ under the table 2-3 nights a week, but that's it. With my extra time, I began pushing myself hard on my studies here. Though my concentration is shot, I do all I can. Now I see this more as an opportunity than a setback. Here I can do more good with a sympathetic ear, a kind word, and a little energy than I EVER did with a rifle. Now I feel like I have come home. I still miss the structure of the military, but it has given me a bit of steel that allows me to make it through anything life throws at my path. I feel blessed. I wish you all the best... Warm feeling, swift healing, and fortune to smile on you. We are all here to help each other, and you are a part of it as well. Brightest Blessings.


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