Pagan News and Views Since 1998

For once in a very long time I have set out to find my spirit guide.

I have had to spirit guides in my lifetime:
Timothy (a boy from about 1918 who died of tuberculosis and was 10)
and Ai (a strange and ambigous being with horns, but not a demon or pan... just a guide, but female)

Both of them "came to me"... I was open and they came. Timothy was the first "person" to get me questioning the world around me. I can remember talking to him late into the night about "god" and "right and wrong" and general "why's" - My parents and family knew him as my imaginary friend... but i can still remember his dusty brown hair and tweed pants. I also remember that he was very blunt and to the point... hmm.

Ai was self conflicted, appropriate for a teen I guess. She made me think a lot too, and empowered me. She was mischievous and I am actually not 100% sure that she was benevolent. No advice I ever took from her specifically hurt me... but she didn't make my path any easier either.

___________________________________________________

So I have decided to go searching for my spirit guide... I did a long sit on the astral plane just "calling out"... I kept focusing on connecting with my guide... I didn't expect my "old" guides, they have long departed. After a while i finally started "journeying"

I was led to a "cave". It was just a rocky black void in the side of a hill. I entered it and inside i found a cold bench and a lit candle with a piece of paper on it, written in red ink. I looked and looked at the paper but as i would begin to focus on the words they would "scramble" so i couldn't read them. I was starting to get frustrated so i laid the paper back on the bench. I asked "spirit guide are you here?"

I felt a positive "yes" response so I continued...
I said "can you tell me your name?"
"yes".
"Are you a person?"
-silence-
"Are you an animal?"
-silence-
"Are you something else?"
"yes"
"Can you show me your face?"
"yes"
"Can you show it to me now?"
"no"
"What is your name?"
-silence-
I sit on the soil and draw a line... beneath me i see an etched symbol that i don't understand... I ask:
"can you write in so I can understand?"
I pick up the paper after a moment and see an "h" on the page... there is more after it but yet again i cannot focus.
I say:
"I cannot see... can you whisper it in my ear?"
What I hear is "hesa... hesahet... hesah... heset"
I have never heard any name like that before.... I am slightly frustrated.... I say:
"Can I find your name somewhere?"
thunder crackles outside...
I ask "Did you have anything with me being struck by lightning?"
"yes"
"Were you trying to hurt me?"
"No"
"Are you a lightning being?"
"no"
"Is there a place I can find your name?"
"yes"
"In a book?"
"yes"
I go to my bookshelf and pick out a book (eyes closed during the whole time).... the first book I pick opens up to a random page and I open my eyes... the page is completely orange with no words... I close my eyes again and ask
"Please guide me to your name"
"yes."
Eyes closed... I scan my shelf with my hand one book feel warm so I pull it out i slowly flip through the pages until one "tingles" and i place my finger on it... I scan the page with my finger until my finger touches a "warm spot"...
I say "Is this it?"
"yes"
I open my eyes and I see thee words surrounding my finger:"solar, hathor, cow goddess"
So I ask "do you have a message for me?"
"yes"
"what is it"
"ground and center"


- and its over-

______________________________________________________

Hmmm... so this is what happened. My question is, COULD she really be my spirit guide? I have never heard of this. My patrons are both celtic gods, and I thought I would get a "raven" or a "wispy cloud" or something as a spirit guide... or maybe even another one like my previous guides. I am not doubting it, but I am wondering why a goddess like Hathor would be interested in me? I don't even do anything with the Egyptian pantheon.

She was right though... that woozy feeling is giving me a headache... ground and center...

What do you think?

-Megan



Views: 27

Comment by mara rising-phoenix on July 21, 2010 at 11:51pm
Wow! I am so new at all of this. That is awesome. I think if she took all the trouble to find you....go for it. One thing that I do understand about my path is that it's not all for me to understand. Hathor it is then. If she has found you, then the reason should come to you time, no? I am only starting to meditate and getting better at it, but can't imagine what it would feel like to astral project. Again...Wow. And WELCOME HATHOR!

Comment by Megan L Conklin on July 22, 2010 at 12:09am
thank you mara...

I looked her up on some websites, and she actually is very like what i am striving for. She is a fertility goddess, protector of women, goddess of beauty, goddess of sexuality... she is a goddess of the sun, sky and stars. She is a goddess of joy, inspiration and the arts. It is funny how much she influences in my life.

She is seen as a woman, cat, lion, goose, and cow.

It is interesting because one of her symbols is a lion, and I am a leo. She is strong, confident, powerful, and at times: ruthless.

I cant wait to learn more from her!
Blessed Be!
-Megan
Comment by mara rising-phoenix on July 22, 2010 at 12:38am
Nice to know that you are a sister fire sign. I am Aries, and my 12 year old daughter is Leo. Here's where it gets interesting. My boyfriend and son are both Scorpios. lol. They think we are moody and we think they are moody. I am glad that you found your spirit guide. May this one lead you to good things. I want to find mine also. I would prefer more of a muse. Only in good ways though. I don't know if you have any control over who are what you get though.....
Comment by Rev Michelle on July 26, 2010 at 2:34pm
it definitely seems she chose you. My patrons are generally Hindu, but I do have some others that have come into my life. I would just go with it and let it happen if I were you. That is such a blessing to have her contact you like that. You are so blessed and she will enrich your life greatly.

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