Pagan News and Views Since 1998

The Law of Three: When are we guilty?

I've just begun my "scholastic" path in the Correllian Tradition. I've been familiar with the concept of "Karma" for most of my life, as most people; however, I've recently had an experience that makes me question whether my actions were a result of someone else's karma or whether my actions were the beginning of my own that will eventually manifest itself in the "laws of three" in order to teach me a lesson.
I'll be as brief as possible: I recently ended my relationship with my best friend of 33 years due to her alcoholism. Although for approximately 10+ years I've been trying my best to help her in so many different ways, I've ultimately chosen to end this friendship. I'm torn. Is this her karma that she had a friend ending a 33 year relationship or is this the beginning of mine? I feel guilty for doing this and at the same time I feel so relieved to be rid of a toxic part of my life.
Of course, I could go into more detail, but I prefer not to. I'm just looking for guidance in my very beginnings of my spiritual path. The beginning including ending this type of relationship.
ANY input is greatly appreciated.
Peace and light to you ~ Rain Maiden

Views: 125

Comment by Priestess Jinn on October 17, 2016 at 9:05am

Firstly I'm glad you ended that toxic friendship. Second, life is not HAPPENING to you, it is a REFLECTION of you. Everything exists on an energetic level, that is until it manifests in the physical world. Whenever you think about something you are willing it to happen. thus the law of attraction, this also goes for subconscious thoughts. Do not blame yourself for her life issues, they are not a result of anything you said or didnt say, it was her choice and free will not to listen to you. As it was your choice to cut cords with her. My advice is that you forgive yourself, and allow yourself to heal. Feeling guilty over this loss of friendship stems from guilt over something that you also couldnt change in your past, perhaps in childhood.

Comment by April Rain on October 17, 2016 at 9:59am

Thank you for your insight! I will take it to heart.

Comment by Airen MoonWolf on November 3, 2016 at 7:05pm

I had the same experience except I was actually in love with my alcoholic friend. I learned through watching my mother deal with my father's alcoholism that as outsiders to that struggle we are powerless- the alcoholic MUST be allowed freedom to live life according to his/her choices. We must keep ourselves safe, sane and healthy. You cannot help anyone unless they have the knowledge of the need for help inside them. Further you cannot make the person WANT to accept your help. I, too, had to let her go with the Goddess's blessings because I knew the futility of helping someone who was not able to accept the need for that help.
I found her a recovery group and when she decided that wasn't for her I told her I would always love her but I couldn't be part of watching her slowly kill all that I loved about her. I accepted that my love alone wouldn't cure her and I let her go to her mother who assured me that she was capable of helping her- her mom was a substance abuse counselor.
I feel no karma attached to my decision nor do I accept karma in her anger toward me for what she perceived as abandonment....though that last part hurt worse than even her lies and other actions.
I do not know what happened to her but I know one day I will know and I live in eternal hope that she found or will find the courage to put down the bottle and really live. I do know that I could not help her and letting myself follow the path she was setting before us would have made karma for me because I knew it was wrong.
Forgive yourself for saving yourself you have nothing to feel guilty over. You gave what you could and now you have moved aside to allow the Gods to put new people in her path- that is all. Pray for her, love her and remember the good she was in your life but never forget that YOU are not responsible for what happens next. She must hit rock bottom before she can look at the sky.
Brightest Blessings,
Airen Wolf

Comment by April Rain on November 9, 2016 at 2:36pm

Thank you. Thank you for your insight and experience on such a difficult decision that you've also made. You touched upon abandonment and, yes, that is something I've struggled with initially, because I felt that I did abandon her.
Everything you've described is what I feel inside and although I'm sorry to know that someone else has gone through this, I'm reassured through your words that it is all for the best in both our lives.
I know that I made the decision that was true to my path, after avoiding it for years.
Again, thank you for your selflessness by letting me know about your experience so that I feel more at peace with mine.
Blessed be ~ Rain Maiden

Comment by S. Arthur Murray on February 14, 2017 at 10:13am

I am a recovering addict and it seems you suffered with her, though vicariously or maybe empathically. You did all you could do and it seems your reached a point were it was unhealthy for you to remain her friend. I don't think there is any karma for protecting yourself. You can be proactive in doing rituals to help her get a grip on things and receive whatever professional help is available to her. You did the right thing to a.) walk away when you needed to protect yourself and b.) send her a message that she ALONE must fight this disease of the mind, body and spirit. She has underlying issues that you can't address with her because you are too close to the situation to be completely removed and objective. She has to take steps to right herself. If not, unfortunately, the cycle still goes around & around. This is not your problem to take on so, I do not see how you could get any feedback that would be negative. Love & blessed be.

Comment by nox lumen on February 23, 2017 at 4:51pm

"You can't help those who WILL not help themselves."

Good karma is doing the right thing at the right time for the right reason.

It seems to me that while you did not want to be hurtful to this friend, she saw that as permission to remain exactly as she was. In a situation like that, sometimes the painful thing is the right thing.

I have had plenty of lessons I had to learn the hard way because I was sure there was nothing wrong with the way I went about it. Friends could not have talked me out of it if they tried. It's because I needed to face the challenge I made for myself by myself to really understand the lesson, not because I was unloved. Each of us has these at some point.

But forget about karma. Don't live for karma. You'll waste all your precious time worrying about what obscure punishment you may get. Choices don't have consequences because some high power is waiting to beet you with a stick. If that's how it worked, most politicians would have been struck by lightning for doing far worse. Instead, be the person you want to see in the mirror because that's the one person you can never walk away from.

Comment by Airen MoonWolf on February 27, 2017 at 8:24am

Most karma is dealt with right away by the law of natural consequence. In fact Karma is simply another name for the law of natural consequence. Be the kind of person you would be pleased to meet and be around and you will be living according to the law of three, naturally. :)

Comment by Ravenwolf on July 7, 2017 at 9:16pm

Lots of good advice there. I have a friend who has been abused by his wife. She has run away, taken their kids with her. He now doesn't see his children anymore and he is, to be blunt, a bit of a mess. He was my friend, before He got married but I took an instant dislike to her then.

I am not the only one of his friends that didn't like her, most did.

When, after the event, I told him so, he said "How come nobody said anything". My answer to that was that he was in love and would not have listened to me or them anyhow. Love is blind.

He now thinks, probably correctly, that she is a sociopath. She has attempted to destroy his relationships with his friends and alienated him to everyone.

He is now quite a lonely man, and I try to keep in touch the best I can. I get an inside "feeling" now and again and either text or phone him to ask if he is ok. Generally, he will respond, with "Can I come round, or meet you somewhere fore a drink".

My heart is so full of love for him, but it just seems that no matter what I do is just not enough,

It is so painful. However, You don't have to stay with someone forever, just because you feel obligated. This does not affect your karma or "rule of three".

You are allowed to have your own life and live it! Blessed Be to all who are in this situation.


Comment by Mystra on August 7, 2017 at 12:06pm

You have to do what is right - your friend may never change - it's up to her to hit rock bottom - and not to drag you down with her. But for now take care of yourself first and always Priestess Mystra


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